Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
