Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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