She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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