Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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