Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Randomize
