Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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