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I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
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