haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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