Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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