Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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