margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So many bounce houses so little time
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
