I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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