the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
