look no pants
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
