You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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