She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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