I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
