Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You made out with two different species that night
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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