Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
