Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
