Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
