she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
