i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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