dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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