I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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