I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
