I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
are you so shy because you have an std?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
