I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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