I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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