Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
