i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
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