I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
