my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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