Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
