i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
