put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
