dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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