That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Also, beer. Big fan.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
