We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
