I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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