We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
