I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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