my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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