you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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