You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
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