A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
