I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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