it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
