Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
