Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
