Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
