I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
