Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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