This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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