she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
