I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
